What's up?
A weekend day is being spent alone after a long week of going to the city, exploring, spending money on good food, school starting. It feels good to be alone for a little while even though I love my gal. She went out to meet an old friend. I need this time to find my center in my work and forming my project. I have been a bit scattered since I got back from Kyoto. It is amazing how hard it is for me to find a common strain of my work in Asia. There is so much there, just lingering under the surface waiting to be put together, put to use, manifested into working knowledge. Often I sit down to brainstorm and come up with many questions that have one word or one phrase answers in my head. I want something to explore in this area of elderly care. It's all there, I just need to read more, to build a more concrete foundation. There is so much experience and advise that is sloshing around in me. I pull out a notebook and try to spew forth ideas, but get about a paragragh before it turns into sketches and doodles. Not really beautiful but more like absent-minded strokes, even my art is lacking intentioned focus. Yesterday we went to two different art shows, and I was enthrawled with how my favorite pieceslooked as though each stroke had an inherent purpose. Damn, so much struggle when I can SEE that it can be done with one stroke. I think about my thesis and want it to come out in one stroke of thought and ideas, but it does not happen like that. I write ten, and walk away. Come back, and I don't like any of them. Shit. The most solid things that I know I want in my thesis are elderly care, touch, compassion, natural methods, community, and peace. From there, I just draw a blank in how to go about putting all of that into a huge paper that shows academic understanding, analysis, holistic perspectives, and counter arguments, and researched evidence to support the focus of my education...blah, blah blah. I just want to get out there and do all this shit that I have to write about in the next four months. Not really, because I want to graduate, and have a better understanding of my work, and a very good piece of work that a possible boss might look at and want to hire me. Ah, the unknown future, I guess that is what I/we are working towards, and helping humanity as a whole. Sigh, if anyone has any suggestions, please do make them. Everything is well, and I am about to finish my 23rd year of life. I am in love with someone. What more could I ask for? Well here are a few pics of our time so far. Eva on the digital leash, us together at the African art exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum of Art, and a great university choir singing at Martin Luther King Day celebration.
posted by Kyle Weaner at 12:32 PM
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